A few hours before I wrote this article, I was in my office listening to my patient sharing her feelings about some relatives and friends who love to utter “insensitive” words especially during holiday parties or intimate gatherings. As I did many times in the past, you might have also found yourself in the same situation. You go to a party, meet friends and relatives you only see during Christmas season and the first greeting you get are either of the following statements: “You’ve lost so much weight!” or “You’ve gained a lot of weight!” Sounds familiar?
Or perhaps, you could be the one guilty of carelessly and loudly stating your observation within earshot of other guests, which led them to turn around and stare at the person whose entire being was reduced to his or her being too fat or too skinny.
In my 11 years of practice as a dietitian consultant and having battled with fluctuating weight due to my thyroid problems, I know how it feels to be ridiculed or made fun of because of being overweight and drastically losing so much weight in such a short time.
I have worked with so many clients struggling to lose or gain weight. Setting aside health as a priority and succumbing to unrealistic expectations and standards set by the society.
These simple but insensitive words are far more damaging to one’s health than eating high caloric foods during the holidays not to mention the perfect way to dampen a person’s Christmas spirit. Why? This situation would surely affect the person emotionally which will greatly affect food intake and eating habits.
Some people will get so conscious they will start to deprive themselves and when they can’t sustain the restrictive diet, they will crave and give in to binge-eating. This is a vicious cycle that is detrimental to health. On the other hand, skinny people could get frustrated when they start to eat high caloric foods but fail to rapidly increase weight.
According to the Mayo Clinic, emotional eating is eating as a way to suppress or soothe negative emotions, such as stress, anger, fear, boredom, sadness and loneliness.
Here are some ways to combat negative feelings when caught in an awkward situation like this:
Understand that friends and relatives often utter these words because they just don’t know what to say. They don’t mean to hurt your feelings. You probably won’t be the only person to be greeted that way. So learn not to take it personally.
If you are aware that there is some truth to what they actually said, then take it as a challenge to motivate you to set realistic goals to achieve a healthier lifestyle. As the saying goes, the truth hurts. This is the time to turn something negative into positive. There is always hope once we get past the stage of denial.
Practice the art of responding positively. Smile and compliment them instead of acting defensive and trying to explain why you are skinny or fat. Trust me, they won’t be interested in listening to your explanations. They would rather talk about more exciting things other than your weight. So just enjoy the party!
Happy Healthy Holidays!
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